Braveheart

Courage. Face the future, but face it only with a brave and happy heart. Do not seek to see it. YOU are robbing Faith of her sublime sweetness if you do this. (God Calling)

Seems easy doesn't it? Just be brave, trust God for the future, and be happy not knowing how it will end. But how many times have I done the complete opposite? How many times have I tried laying out all of the facts, analyzing the various ways a situation could pan out, and then trying to play God by manipulating it to go my own way? It's funny to me that I try to figure out God's plans before they come to fruition. I figure God thinks its funny too because those times when I am 98% certain I know what is going to come next, I make a fool of myself. And it hurts more than the time I face-planted in Jr. High in front of everyone on the buses lined up to leave (seriously, that happened. It is top three on my most embarrassing moments, right next to when my skirt flew up and flashed the entire football team at lunch), emotional and physical pain, not to mention total embarrassment.

I have thought about it and I cant quite put my finger on why predicting God's next move so intrigues me. I think it is so that I can put my identity in it, or have something to look forward to, or maybe it is so that I can protect myself. But truthfully...you know what it is? I can't fully trust God that he will give me his good and perfect will. I am afraid that I won't get what I long for (a husband, a family, a job, an outcome in a relationship, a better position at work etc) so I try to make sure I do by convincing myself God is telling me to do something. It's as if I trick myself into settling for less than God's best for me. So in result, it takes ten times longer for His will to happen, or I miss the opportunity completely.

All The Lord asks is that I trust that he has a plan and a future to prosper me and not to harm me (Jer.29:11), and to seek first His Kingdom and all these things will be added unto me (Matt.6:33).  Not only that, but He knows the desires of my heart even more than I do, and as I delight myself in him, he will give me to me (Psalm 37:4).

I know all of these things very well, yet I still fall into the temptation to figure it all out. My human sinfulness takes over and once again I start analyzing and playing out scenarios on my head. I waste my energy. I seek His guidance more than I seek Him. But I believe he wants me to have child-like trust, not knowing the future, but completely trusting. Not critical, not fearful, but full of joy. I am robbing myself of the joy that comes from trusting The Lord, having faith that he will keep his promises, and then watching those promises take shape in my life.

Is it possible to face the future with a brave and happy heart? The answer is yes, praise The Lord! We do know that God's greatest plan is for us to be in deep intimate relationship with him and worship him, which was his purpose for creating us. This means as we seek His face instead of His hand, we will begin trusting Him more and more in the little things because he is faithful. When we get to know him, (spending time in the morning with him, praying through the day, seeking him with all of our heart), then we will just know that he's got it all figured out in his timing, and we don't have to be fearful or worried.

Do you have a relationship with The Lord that allows you to face the future and enjoy each moment in the present with a brave and happy heart?

God makes everything happen at the right time. Yet none of us can ever fully understand all he has done, and he puts questions in our minds about the past and the future. I know the best thing we can do is always to enjoy life, because God's gift to us is the happiness we get from or food and drink and from the work we do. Everything God has done will last for ever; nothing he does can ever be changed. God has done all this, so that we will worship him. (Ecclesiastes 3:11-14 GNB)

Love Is Waiting

This is a really strange time for me to be blogging...it's 12:30am, and I'm sitting in my bed, browsing on my iPad as I usually do...then all the sudden...BAM I got a conviction to post this. As I mentioned my last blog post, I only post when I feel the Lord compelling me to, and I really felt compelled to put this out there. Maybe it's so that I will believe it too, but I feel as though The Lord reminded me of a poem my sweet friend Lauren shared with me in college, when it seemed like everyone and their mother was getting their "ring by spring." Don't get me wrong, I was happy for all of my friends who had found the love of their life before they graduated (I even played matchmaker with my best friends Niki and Jordan). I believe that The Lord has someone special for everyone, in his own perfect time. A partner in life that you will be closer to than anyone that you have ever known. Lately I have been thinking a lot about that. Not just about marriage, but the relationship. The day to day, everyday. And how sweet that would be with someone who knows your every fault and loves you, sometimes because of your faults. One morning I was praying about my future husband and began to get a picture of what that relationship would look like based off of my experience and having friends who are married. Every day you wake up and have a partner to do life with and go on adventures with. Someone you tell your deepest...and most ridiculous thoughts to. And someone you share the details of your day with, even the bad or boring parts. But then The Lord made it so clear to me, that he wants to be that first. He wants that other person to be him.

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone
To have a deep relationship with another
To be loved thoroughly, and exclusively -
But God, to a Christian says,
I want you to be satisfied, fulfilled and content
With being loved by me alone -
With giving n yourself totally and unreservedly to me-
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With me alone.
Discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the best human relationship
That I have planned for you.

I want you to be united with another after you are united with me,
Exclusive of anyone or anything else,
Exclusive if any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing,
And allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing-
One that you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best,
Please allow me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching me, trusting me -
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait.
That's all.

Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look around at the things
Others have gotten, or that I've given them.
Don't look at the things y think you want.
You just keep looking off and up to me
Or you will miss what I want to show you.

And then, when you're ready, ill surprise your with a love
Far more wonderful than any you would ever dream of.
You see, until you're ready, and until the one I have for you is ready,
(Even at this moment I am working to have both of you ready at the same time)
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with me a d the life I have prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me.
And this is the perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love.
I was you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me.
And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting beauty, perfection and love,
That I offer you with myself.
Know that's love you utterly.
I am God.
Believe and be satisfied.

-author unknown

God has given me a peace in my heart that there is a time and a season for everything. I believe he wants me to be patient and wait, and at the same time enjoy my time single, and the freedom that comes with it. My hope is that other single young women also find peace knowing those same truths, and that a man will not fulfill their deepest need, no man can. Only God and an intimate personal relationship through his Son Jesus can.